...Don't worry, it didn't hit me in the face - I caught it.
The effervescent as ever Glitterbird (a.k.a George) passed this little soul prober and blog tradition my way, now you all get to know what makes me tick. You lucky things you.
1. What never fails to cheer you up?
Stupid associations with words. A "poof" of white powder and the word "Wildies"*. Realising I have more money than I thought I did (v rare). Ikea £1.50 meatball wednesdays. Ikea in general. A nice drive. A good spot in the park. When the flat's tidy (bore). Trying a new shampoo or lipstick. Anything cheap. Spotting a celebrity. Getting a good work email. ROFL with my besties. Ambling around Mayfair choosing which houses to live in when I'm older. When your dirty KFC hits just the right spot. Laundry that smells like home. My fam. Smoking.
*N.B. White powder is nothing to do with Columbia - it's from White Chicks: "Your mama's so old, her breast milk looks like THIS *poof*" And "Wildies" is a scouse term you'll have to google, I have absolutely no idea why it makes me laugh so much but it does... so juvenile.
2. If you could live one day of your life over again what would it be?
I think this is a pretty dangerous path to start going down, the odd bad day re-write could quite easily turn into a massive cloud of regret lingering over you like that bloody Icelandic ash. I am a big believer in "que sera sera" - even if something's god awful, you still have it as a comparative point for other, better experiences thus making everything else seem marvellous in comparison, n'est-ce pas? Believe me, I've had more than my fair share of really, really, (really) embarrassing moments and upsets, but at least now, when I'm having a pretty mediocre day and feeling a little melancholy, I can think back and go "Jesus Christ at least I haven't just woken up after doing that again." You know?
3. What do you like best about yourself?
Ooooh where to start... I am obviously amazing in every possible way so writing this could take, like, ages. BUT, if I were to be serious and take off my Paris Hilton head, I'd maybe say my positivity, inherited from my wonderful PaPa. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of sunshine freak who seizes every opportunity to clap their hands and grin like a nutter whilst saying "Isn't this FUN?!" - I just like to think about the different aspects of situations and try and focus on a good angle if you get me? Example: can't afford to get the tube so have to get the bus and leave earlier to get anywhere = get to know town better and look at the nice views etc etc. Boring I know, but it does make life's little bumps and brushes a tad easier.
4. What would you change about yourself?
Loooooooooooooooooong list. Physically - I can think of a fault with pretty much everything, even down to my cuticles. Personality wise - I'm pretty stubborn, which in turn can mean I'm a pretty big pain in the arse.
5. What have you enjoyed most about blogging?
I'm still not sure how comfortable I am with the whole concept to be honest, I still feel, and am, a bit of a loser for thinking anyone would actually want to read anything I go on about. It's nice as a little posting board for things that you like, and of course, don't like, but I don't really feel like it's anything particularly to do with my "career" as it would be a little like taking your diary to a job interview to show how you write. What I say about the numerous detritus that tickle my fancy on a day to day basis is not obviously what I'd say if I were commissioned an article - however, I did get free tickets to go and see the Grace Kelly exhibition off the back of this so that was pretty sweet to say the least.
6. Who or what is your ultimate source of inspiration?
Oh god, shoot me with a cheese dart but I'd have to say happiness. Life's too short to spend all your time prolonging it, stop reading the "Cancer Is Caused By..." headlines and go and enjoy yourself.
7. If you could be anywhere in the world where would you be?
Well, seeing as it's highly unlikely that I'd get to be anywhere in the world I want to be anyway, I'll extend the implausibility of the equation by suggesting multiple locations. I've always fancied a little Parisian apartment up in the rafters overlooking a petit courtyard and with a string of cliched cafes outside to go and smoke Galoises till the cows come home; oh and as this is all pretend anyway I'm fluent in French obviously and make idle chit chat with disgruntled old men. Secondly, a spacious New York property on Park Avenue wouldn't go amiss, intermittent visits from Chuck Bass and Nate Archibald would help to ease any Upper East Side iciness nicely. Lastly, I'd also like to be in the midst of a Californian road trip (a la Glitterbird) with enough bacon and hashbrowns covered in syrup to make the journey end up with a Thelma and Louise style finish - not because of being chased by the po po, merely I would be unable to control the car as my feet would have gotten so fat off all the diners along the way.
8. Who would you invite to your ideal dinner party?
Sophie Dahl (she can cook too), Hadley Freeman, Liv Tyler, Leo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Scarlett Johansson, Neil Kinnock, Tom Ford, Beyonce, Courtney Love (imagine ! ), John James and Josie from BB (soz I love them beyond reason), George Clooney, Marilyn Monroe, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling (only if he has a beard), Raylan Givens, Alabama and Clarence Worley, Patsy Stone and Edina Monsoon, Bardot, Grace Coddington, David Milliband, my real life friends... There are lots more but I can't think right now. Soz to Brad Pitt for leaving you off the guest list but I think Ange is a bit doo-lally and would siphon my blood in my sleep or something if you came. I now pass the baton to: T Shirts & Cupcakes, Shiny! Shiny! Shiny Boots of Leather and My Style Vista. Phew.
See what I mean about the beard?