PARTY TIME

So to celebrate passing the 500 hits mark, and with many thanks to the super gorge Clara who has left us all to live it up at Interview Magazine in NY, what a hard life eh, here is a little taste of what you can find in the latest issue. I'll accept thank you's written on the back of a fresh pack of Camel Lights, cheers.

All images shot by Terry Richardson and courtesy of:

PUGH-EEEEEE

So I've been on a bit of a dated fashion TV trip recently, thanks to 4oD updating its available archives I am now fully re-acquainted with old favourites such as She's Gotta Have It, G Girls, This Model Life and best of all Fashion House. The fact that I am dedicating so much time to late Nineties and early Noughties light entertainment is probably quite an embarrassing thing to own up to, err do I actually have a life, but the rewards are so great I really can't stop myself. It's hilarious that what is shown as 'cutting edge' sophistication and improbably chic yet attainable high street style now look as cheap as a sale rail at MK One. I know in another 10 years we'll probably all be thinking the same thing about our masses of straight off the catwalk Topshop and Zara numbers, but hell let's just enjoy it while we can and cross that shoe-booted bridge when we get to it eh? 

Back to my salvation during (numerous) times of boredom - Fashion House. The shows undoubted highlight is the access all areas pass to a young and Beyonce-less Gareth Pugh. He is told by a crazy French girl called Fanny that he likes to show his nipples too much, is told by Valentino he needs to re-think his direction, tells his parents his clothes cost pittance to make but he's going to rinse rich people who can afford to pay what he wants and is unbelievably the first to be voted off. This show is like a mental version of early days Big Brother with all the crazies Italy, France and Sweden have to offer, along with copious amounts of GCSE standard 'design creations' being made from half a meter of maribu and some camouflage and lame tulle. Standout performance definitely comes from UK team leader and Head of Fashion something at Central Saint Martins, David Kappo. I really, really, really want to be his friend or at least stand next to him for five minutes before I die. Surprisingly there's oodles of big names involved, from Naomi to Donatella all paying a visit to the psychotic design house based in Milan. All in all, what's not to love?

PURE SHORES

It amazes me how I have neglected to ad lib about something so dear to my heart for so long. It wasn't until prompted by an incredibly stylish friend that I stopped, smacked my forehead and said to myself "Jesus Christ what have you been playing at." I am of course harping on about the MTV sensation Jersey Shore, featuring nympho-guido's and the best hair this side of Coney Island circa 1983. In my head, the cast are split into three camps, firstly, those I want to be: Snooki and JWOWW, secondly, those I kind of fancy but don't know why, i.e. all the guys, and thirdly: Sammi the not so sweetheart, more dick. She can be in a camp all on her own and see who'll fight over her then. 

I used to go out in Weston-Super-Mare at the age of 15 and let me tell you there is little difference between there and the infamous hot-spot Karma. Yes, I wore pink high heeled Timbs, swigged voddy outside Tesco's and worked my way through a pack of Mayfair Menthols all wearing frosted lipgloss, but I never managed to be invited back to a menag-a-something in a rooftop hot-tub. Shame. With those days regretfully behind me, all I have to cling on to, in hopes of someday fist pumping myself into a frenzy once more, is a never dying love of pickles and a jaunty hair "poof", both guilty pleasures which can be incorporated into everyday life almost seamlessly. However, be careful not to indulge in too many gherkin style treats and keep the coke with your rum decidedly diet, or flaunting your best nipple grazing, naval swinging loin cloth of a top a la JWOWW could prove to be more flab than fab. If I were you I'd be heading to the local retail park to G.T.L. ready for summer quicker than you can say "I'm a Mama's Boy". See you on the boardwalk.

P.S. I didn't include Angelina in my categorization of cast members as she chose not to include herself in the show. I would say sorry for being petty and say she has nice short shorts or something but I won't and I am. What a waster.