STANDARD

Here are all the peeps who, despite looking perfectly lovely, always do the same damn thing. Blake Lively had her sexy gams out as per usual in a failsafe Marchesa number, and don't get me wrong, I bloody love her, I'd kind of like to see her experiment a little; less "look at my bod" - more "look at my style", you know? Chloe Sevigny was obviously there looking a little batshit as usual, now I know it's sacrilege to say anything bad about her holiness, but I'm rarely surprised by what she's wearing. She ticks all the boxes for fash savvy but I'm always left flicking past pictures of her thinking, "Of course she's wearing that. Why wouldn't she be?"

Bar Rafaeli was looking slightly slutty as ever, and you can just picture her giving Leo a cheeky lap dance in somewhere like Whisky Mist later on, (if they were in London which they are blates not). Jessica Biel actually made me yawn, I swear she's been wearing the same variation of a dress and hair-do for at least a year. Rachel Zoe was weighted down by oodles of Van Cleefe so she didn't float away on the merest of breezes, same luxe boho, same safe look. Finally, why oh why hasn't anyone told Renee Zellweger that her fave of faves Carolina Herrera doesn't do her any justice? Always the same, out with the shoulders and back - and hello to her lumpy ligaments. Plus, the cuts of the dresses make her look excessively broad on top and then taper down as if she's deteriorating from the waist. PLEASE STOP IT. What on earth would Jerry Maguire say for goodness sake?

(T-B) BL - Marchesa, CS - Proenza Schouler, BR - Rag and Bone, JB - Ralph Lauren, RZ - Marc Jacobs, RZ - Carolina Herrera

TULLE...

...Can either be hit or miss. Luckily, these few hit the flouncy nail on the head and got it just about right. Allow a bit of froth and gather, this is a big event yeh? Jessica Szohr and Deutzen Kroes brought the drama in 'spot them a mile' off frocks, whilst Kirsten Dunst and Camille Belle kept it soft and feminine in whisper light beauties.

(T-B) JS - Versace, DK - Zac Posen, KD - Rodarte for Gap, CB - Jason Wu

METALLICS...

...Were undoubtedly one of the biggest favourites of the night, and a stalwart "posh do" staple. Ranging in approach from 'Fairytale' a la Anne Hathaway and J-Lo, to 'Slinky' as seen by Claire Danes, Brooke Shields, Gwen Stefani, Marion Cotillard and M.I.A - they all looked divine. SJP and Nicole Richie both took a successful interpretation in vintage cut gowns that worked beautifully. It's surprising that Cate Blanchette wasn't about as this is normally her time to shine... (sorry I couldn't help it.)

(T-B) AH - Valentino, JLO - Zuhair Murad, BS, GS - L.A.M.B, M.I.A - Wang for Gap, CD - Burberry, MC - Dior, SJP - Halston Heritage, NR - Marc Jacobs

COSTUME INSTITUTE GALA 2010

WTF. I think I accidentally fell asleep in my Hot Tub Time Machine last night and woke up in 2005. Hey look, it's Jude and Sienna, looking all kindsa cute at the Met Ball! All I'm waiting for now is Alfie 2.0 trailers all over the telly and the impending arrival of my (disastrous) AS results... As much as this photo could be a recycled hologram from back in the day, I'm secretly tres pleased. I like them together, they complement each other's looks perfectly, and, well, it just makes sense.

Romantic reconciliation's aside, there is serious news to attend to, and brace yourselves kids, this is going to be a big one. So big, in fact, I've had to sub-categorize into what I saw as micro-trends. Be prepared for bloody loads of stuff on the Oscars of the fashion world, coming... now.

THERE ARE NO WORDS

In a good way. This. Is. Amazing.

HAUTE CUISINE

Continuing on from the previous post on my joblessness, here is how I get my (very) cheap thrills on a Bank Holiday Weekend. It's probs rather obvious that I unashamedly lick the very ground that Sophie Dahl walks on, so her food programme flies high on my excitability radar. Cooking, I have found, is a stupidly satisfying activity when you're not really sure what to do with yourself, and last night I tackled my first 'off the telly' recipe. 

Roasted Tomato and Thyme (and basil) Soup with Double Baked (blue) Cheese and Chive Potatoes

Ingredients

For the potatoes

4 baking potatoes

knob of butter

2 tbsp crème fraîche

small bunch fresh chives, finely chopped

200g/7oz soft blue goats' cheese

1 free-range egg, beaten

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the soup

2kg/4½lbs large ripe plum tomatoes, halved

1 garlic bulb, cut in half horizontally

2 large red onions, peeled, quartered

few sprigs fresh thyme

1 tbsp golden caster sugar

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

250ml/9fl oz vegetable stock (optional)

100ml/3½fl oz single cream (optional)

a few drops Worcestershire sauce (optional)

a few drops balsamic vinegar (optional)

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5.

2. Bake the potatoes directly on the wire rack of the oven for 1½ - 1¾ hours, or until tender.

3. Meanwhile, for the soup, place the tomatoes, garlic, onions and thyme into a large roasting tin and season, to taste, with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Drizzle with the oil, and roast in the oven for 40-50 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool slightly.

4. Mash the garlic with the back of a fork, and discard the skin. Tip the roasted tomatoes and onions into a food processor along with the mashed garlic,

and pulse until smooth.

5. If the soup is too thick, pour into a large saucepan and loosen the mixture with either vegetable stock, or single cream. Add a little Worcestershire sauce or balsamic vinegar, to season, if you like.

6. Remove the potatoes from the oven and using a cloth to hold the hot potato, cut each one in half and scoop out the insides into a bowl.

7. Mix in the butter, crème fraîche, chives and goats' cheese, and stir in the egg.

8. Season, to taste, with salt and freshly ground black pepper, and spoon the potato mixture back into the skins. Place onto a baking tray in the oven for

a further 15-20 minutes, or until golden-brown and crisp on top.

9. To serve, reheat the soup and divide among four bowls, with two potato halves each on the side.

I found the whole process incredibly easy, and that's not bigging myself up as I'm really quite stupid. Best bit: roughly chopping the tomatoes, onion and garlic and getting it all oily and salty with my hands - tres Nigella. Worst Bit: liquifying the soup with a hand held blender, got a tiny bit splattered... But it tasted nice, faffing about with presentation added a fastidious bonus and I'd deffo do it again.

YOUNG WOES

So, still surfing the wave of unemployment, I have written more Cover Letters in the past 9 months than The Olsen's combined have had hot dinners. Not hard really. But after a while, the constant rejection gears up from a feeling of a mild annoyance to a hefty kick in the groin. The reason I digress is, I am in the middle of applying for a job at a Teen Magazine. Yet another added bonus of my chosen profession is that there is no simple application form, tick box, AB or C option - pretty much every position advertised requires at least three feature ideas and about 300 words in the 'house style'. This particular role demands five feature propositions as well as a diary or blog entry in the prose of a 'typical teenager'. Right. 

Already being deemed geriatric by my 18 year old sister, this could prove harder than thought. Luckily, I still have an old diary from the height of my own adolescent angst to refer to; and when reading it the first thought to enter my head - what a fucking idiot. There is no way that I could use any of that whinging crap, riddled with abominable spelling and toe-curlingly awful slang. It is interesting though, how one tends to view their formative years from such a rose-tinted perspective, when in reality, we (or maybe just I) were as rattlingly insecure as Woody Allen on acid.

For example, then, I had my whole life ahead of me, good skin, and never had to consider stale pans in the sink, overdue laundry or managing a weekly shop with £8. Whereas now, I'm a solid government statistic, poor and not really sure what I'm doing from day to day, yet I'm far happier. It's a rare thing to be grateful of age, but in this case I so am. Having said that, I'll probably read this in five years time and want to break my own fingers so I can never write such bollocks again.